You and I Together Page 17

  “Why didn't you tell me about any of this sooner?” He asks, finally meeting my eyes.

  “I don't know.” I admit. “I am so used to dealing with things on my own. I guess I don't really know how to share my problems with others. I know I should have told you. But honestly Bentley, I just wanted the situation to go away. I was afraid if you found out that you would....” He cuts me off before I can finish.

  “That I would kill him?” He asks, his eyes burning fiercely into mine. “Because it's taking a hell of a lot of control not to do just that right now.” He says, his nostrils flaring slightly. “And honestly, I'm having a really hard time believing that you didn't tell me about any of this.”

  “I don't know what you want me to say Bentley. I'm sorry. I really am.” I say, my stomach knotting tighter with the more time that passes.

  “Is there anything else I should know?” He asks. “Anything else you haven't told me?” He studies me for a long moment like he already knows the answer and he's testing me to see if I will come clean. For a moment, I almost do. I almost tell him about Josh and Cora and hell, I almost ask him about Madison. But instead, I clamp my mouth shut and shake my head no, not missing the way his eyes narrow in on me when I do.

  “I won't do this if I can't trust you Anna. And I can't lose you, so I really need to be able to trust you.” He says, reaching across the table and pulling my hand into his. “You can't keep things like this from me. How can I protect you if I don't know what you need protection from?”

  “It's not your job to protect me.” I interject.

  “But it is my job to protect you Anna. Don't you see that? You are everything to me. If something happened to you.... Fuck.” He exhales loudly like he can't even stomach the thought.

  “Hey.” I say, squeezing his hand. “Nothing is going to happen to me. I can take care of myself. Trust me, I've done it long enough.” I try to reassure him but my words come out sounding more defensive than anything.

  “I'm not questioning your ability to care for yourself but I don't think you really grasp what some people are capable of. You see the good in people even when there is none.” His statement gives a clear shot of his double meaning.

  “Are you saying there's no good in you?” I question, pulling my hand away and sitting back to really look at him.

  “I'm saying that you have a lot of faith in people and sometimes you shouldn't. I have known from the very beginning that I am not good enough for you. But I am a selfish bastard and not having you simply is not an option.” He says, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table. “But you see it differently. I know you do. I can tell by the way you look at me. You think I am better than I am Anna. But I am here to tell you, you're wrong.”

  “Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it isn't there. You hide behind your money and your women, masking yourself from anyone who might get too close. But you can't fool me Bentley. It's too late. I already see you.” I bite down on my bottom lip trying to will my drunk mouth shut.

  He falls quiet for what feels like an eternity, his eyes dancing back and forth between mine as we sit across the table from each other in silence. He finally speaks, and when he does, the intimate moment is gone, his anger and concern over Aaron coming back to the forefront.

  “I am assigning Ethan to you.” He says, dropping his napkin on the table and signaling the waitress for the check, even though neither of us has really touched our food. I was starving when we got here but my appetite quickly vanished shorty after.

  “Excuse me?” I cock my head to the side, not sure that I am understanding him correctly.

  “Ethan. He's going to act as your security. Since I can't be here to protect you, I will put the one person with you that I know will keep you safe.”

  “You can't be serious.” I gape at him. “You can't give me a security detail just because of a stupid run in with a guy from my past. That's absurd.”

  “What's absurd is that I have to because I can't trust your judgment where other people are concerned.” He says, his tone flaring an anger deep within me.

  “You know what. Fuck you.” I spit, standing abruptly from the table, my chair letting out an awful scraping sound as it skids against the floor behind me. Without another word, I spin on my heel and quickly exit the diner, so mad that angry tears instantly pool in my eyes. Despite my desperation to blink them away, they fall down my cheeks just the same. First it's just a couple but that soon turns into an endless flow, that once it starts, I can't seem to get to stop.

  “Anna.” Bentley calls after me as I walk down the sidewalk away from the diner. “Anna would you stop?” I don't realize he's caught up to me until he is grabbing my arm and spinning me towards him, his expression changing the moment he registers that I am crying.

  “Baby, baby, it's okay.” He breathes, pulling me into his chest as a sob escapes my throat. I am so embarrassed, so humiliated by the way I am acting that I can only cry harder. I know this is one hundred percent the effect of the alcohol but that knowledge does not stop the flow of tears that seem to be falling on constant repeat.

  “I'm sorry okay?” Bentley's voice is gentle against my hair. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said. I do trust you. I do. I'm just so afraid of losing you.” He tightens his grip on me, wrapping his arms around me so tightly that my sobs are not only shaking my body but his as well. “Please don't cry.” He rocks me slightly in his arms, doing his best to soothe me.

  I wish I could turn it off. Turn off whatever malfunction is causing me to behave like an absolute lunatic but I can't. Every emotion feels heightened, and as such, feels like too much to bare. I didn't realize how much everything was eating at me until now.

  Aaron, Cora, Josh, and now, Madison. These have all been factors that have been weighing heavily on me for weeks now. Well with the exception of Madison. That one is still fairly new. I pride myself on my independence. On my strength. On my ability to not let people get to me. But right now, it's all creeping in and try as I may, I can't shake the sickness it makes me feel.

  “Come on, let's get you home.” Bentley says, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and leading me to his car. I have managed to dry most of my tears by the time I climb into the passenger side, though by this point my eyes hurt so bad, it's hard to even keep them open.

  I can't really process the car ride back to the hotel. The only thing I can focus on is that Bentley's hand never leaves mine the entire way.

  ****

  I shoot up, head pounding, mind full of disorientation. I have no idea where I am and no recollection as to how I got here. It isn't until I catch sight of Bentley's sleeping form next to me that everything seems to come back. Only in slow motion and bits and pieces here and there rather than one big coherent memory.

  Rubbing my eyes with the back of my hands, I squint into the light filtering in through the windows. It takes a few seconds for them to adjust before I am seeing clearly enough to really look around the room. My dress from last night is thrown across the back of the chair in the corner which immediately causes me to glance down.

  Realizing I am only in my panties and bra, I pull the sheet up to my chin and try desperately to hold onto one piece of viable information from the night before. I remember dancing with Lo. I remember the shots. I remember a lot of shots. Rubbing my forehead, I continue to try to piece the night together.

  A foggy memory of Lo kissing me comes to the surface and that's when the panic sets in. Aaron was there. And so was Bentley. I remember the blood. I remember being at Lo's and I vaguely remember being at the diner. But that's it. Everything else is slots of blackness that I can't seem to connect to.

  My stomach rolls, reminding me once again of the amount of alcohol I drank with Lo. At first I think I can breathe through it but then I feel it working it's way up and I know that if I don't get to the bathroom soon, I am going to lose my shit right here.

  Throwing back the cover, I push myself out of bed, not caring if I disturb Bentle
y. Right now there is only one thing on my mind. Get to the bathroom, NOW. Throwing myself in the room, I slam the door shut and lock it, making it to the toilet just in time to empty the contents of my stomach.

  Once I start, I can see no end in sight. It just keeps coming and coming like an endless flow and rakes through my body with each heave. Finally the sickness subsides enough that I am able to strip off what little clothing I am wearing and crawl into the shower.

  Leaning against the shower wall for support, I flip on the water, trying to avoid the stream until it warms up enough that I can tolerate the temperature. After standing under the flowing water for what feels like forever, I finally manage to wash away the reminiscence of last nights stench. Brushing my teeth alone makes me feel a billion times better. And by the time I exit the bathroom about an hour after I entered, I feel like a new person.

  “Feeling better?” Bentley's voice startles me and I jump slightly, having not realized he was awake.

  “Much.” I say, watching him push himself up into a sitting position in the bed. The light from the window lands directly across his perfect bare chest, for a moment distracting me. “I'm sorry about last night. Well, what I can remember of it.” I shrug, crossing the room to pull out a pair of panties and a bra from the dresser drawer that Bentley stocked up for me for occasions like this.

  Slipping my black panties on underneath my towel, I turn slightly so that when I let the towel drop to the floor, I am not exposed to Bentley as I slide on the matching bra and reach behind me to clasp it. He doesn't say anything but I can feel his eyes burning holes in the flesh of my back.

  I pull the other towel out of my hair and start ringing out the excess water before letting the long wet tangles fall down my back. Turning to face Bentley, his eyes trail along my bare stomach and down to the apex of my thighs before finding their way back to my face.

  “I have some business to attend to in New York.” He says, not missing the way my face falls slightly at his words.

  “When are you leaving?” I ask, trying to choke back the emotion suddenly lumped in the center of my throat.

  “In a couple of hours.” He says, pushing back the covers and peeling himself out of bed, crossing the distance to me in the matter of seconds. “I thought maybe you could come with me.” He says, putting his hand under my chin and lifting my face to meet his. “It's just for today and we would fly back here in the morning. What do you say?” He gives me his dimple filled smile, knowing there is no way I can resist him when he looks at me like this.

  “I guess.” I sigh out in fake exasperation. Laughing when he nuzzles his day old facial hair against my cheek. “Bentley, about last night.” I start, wanting to feel like this situation has some type of resolution.

  “Don't.” He says, pulling back to meet my gaze. “We said everything we needed too last night. There's no reason to make it a bigger issue. This is new for both of us. We are bound to hit bumps along the way. The important thing is that we are honest with each other.” He says, telling me what he needs to say without calling out my obvious need to keep things from him.

  “I'm sorry though. I just need you to know that.” I say, laying my hand against his bare chest, loving the way I can feel his heart beating against my palm.

  “I know. And I'm sorry too. Not for punching that asshole, but for my behavior following that.” He laughs lightly at himself.

  “Well, I don't think Aaron is going to be an issue going forward. I think you delivered your message loud and clear.” I say, lifting up his hand to see his knuckles are slightly swollen and bruised. Leaning down, I kiss each knuckle before meeting his eyes again.

  “I will always protect you. You know that don't you?” He asks, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his chest.

  “I do.” I sigh, nuzzling my face against his flesh. And the truth is, I really do. After last night, I have no doubt about what this man would do to keep me safe.

  Had no one been there to stop him, who knows what he would have done to Aaron. And that was before he knew that he had been semi harassing me for the last few weeks. Had he known all of that going was on, Aaron probably would not have been able to walk away.

  “I'm gonna hop in the shower. You wanna order some breakfast?” He asks, pulling back to look down at me.

  “Anything specific you want?” I ask, backing out of his embrace.

  “Surprise me.” He flashes me a wide smile and then turns, disappearing into the bathroom.

  I stare at the closed bathroom door for what feels like forever, our plans for today suddenly hitting me full force. He's taking me to New York. Madison is in New York.

  Chapter

  Twenty-Two

  “Everything okay?” Bentley steps up behind me at the kitchen counter of his New York apartment, his face immediately going to the crook of my neck.

  “Fine.” I lie, popping my birth control pill into my mouth and drinking it down with the bottle of water that I brought from the plane. Truth is, I am freaking out slightly. I didn't realize it until just moments ago, that I am over a week late for my period.

  I don't know how I didn't realize it earlier considering I started a new pack of birth control last Sunday and I usually have my period right before I start a new pack. Shaking my head, I try to reassure myself that it's nothing to worry about. It's not common for my period to be late but it wouldn't be the first time it has happened either.

  Pushing down my mini panic attack, I twist the cap back onto my water and then turn in Bentley's arms, wrapping my hands around his back and pulling him tightly against me.

  “This place is incredible.” I say, looking around the large open kitchen we are currently standing in. “How much does a place like this cost a month?” I ask, turning back around to look out of the floor to ceiling windows that line the far right wall, giving a perfect view of the city below.

  “Why do you ask?” He seems confused by the question.

  “You're never here anymore. It just seems like a waste of money doesn't it? I mean, a place like this can't be cheap and yet, you continue to pay for it even though your on the other side of the country.” I shrug, pushing away from the counter.

  “It's the way it goes.” He brushes it off like it's no big deal. And while to him I'm sure it isn't, to me, it kind of is.

  Making my way around the bar style counter, I cross through the kitchen and into the living area, plopping down on a black leather couch that sits in the center of the room facing the fireplace. The room is enormous. Made to look even bigger by the large windows and vaulted ceilings. Residing on the top floor of one of New York's finest apartment buildings, it's clear to see that Bentley spared no expense when acquiring this place.

  “So, what's the plan?” I ask, pulling my legs up to my chest as I snuggle down into the couch cushions.

  “I just need to run to the club later this evening. Other than that, I thought maybe we could do a little sight seeing.” He says, smiling widely at the large smile that stretches across my face.

  “Really?” I semi-squeal, trying not to seem too excited.

  “New York is a city unlike any other. I can't bring you here for the first time and not at least take you out.” He laughs, flopping down on the couch next to me and draping his arm over my shoulder. “Is there somewhere specific you would like to visit while you are here?”

  “I don't know if it's possible but I have always wanted to see Lincoln Center.” I say, knowing he understands why immediately.

  Lincoln Center is a performing arts conservatory that also happens to house the one school I was dead set on attending for years; Julliard. Even though that dream has long since passed, I still want to see it. I want to be able to envision a future where dance is involved. For just a moment, I want to pretend that I am still that young girl hell bent on making her way to the Big Apple to pursue her dream of attending school here and eventually, dancing here professionally.

  New York was always it for me. It held all of
my future plans. Not only did I intend to go to school here, but I fully intended on living the rest of my life here. New York is the one place where just about anything is possible. And I planned to come here and take the city by storm.

  “I think that can be arranged.” He says, rubbing his hand up and down my arm as he squeezes me tighter into his side. “Any where else?”

  I think for a long moment and then finally determine that there is one other thing I must see. “Times Square?” I ask, crinkling my nose.

  “Well then we better get going before we lose the day.” He says, pushing himself off the couch and extending his hand to help me up.

  “Should I change?” I ask, gesturing down to my dark jeans and red v-neck top. I always feel so under dressed standing next to him. He looks like royalty while I look like a crazy fan girl hell bent on making the world think we're together.

  “No. You're perfect.” He says, leaning forward to kiss my forehead.

  “Says the man dressed in a tailor made designer suit.” I laugh, gesturing to his outfit versus mine.

  “Trust me, if I didn't have to go to the office, I wouldn't be wearing this either. Here.” He says, pulling off his jacket and rolling up the sleeves of his royal blue button down shirt. “Better?” He asks, laughing when he sees the ridiculous way I am looking at him.

  “No actually.” I shake my head. “I think you look even better now. The less clothing the better.” I raise my eyebrows up and down seductively at him as I hitch my finger in the button closure of his shirt and pull him towards me. “Are you sure we don't have just a little time?” I ask, lifting my face to gently kiss the side of his neck while my fingers begin working down the buttons of his shirt.

  “Anna.” He warns, giving me one more chance to back out.