Taming Lo: A You and I Novel Read online

  Taming Lo

  A YOU AND I Novel

  Melissa Toppen

  Copyright © 2015 Melissa Toppen

  All rights reserved.

  This is a work of fiction. Similarities to real people, places, or events

  are entirely coincidental.

  Taming Lo

  A You and I Novel

  Written by Melissa Toppen

  Table of Contents

  chapter one

  chapter two

  chapter three

  chapter four

  chapter five

  chapter six

  chapter seven

  chapter eight

  chapter nine

  chapter ten

  chapter eleven

  chapter twelve

  chapter thirteen

  chapter fourteen

  chapter fifteen

  chapter sixteen

  chapter seventeen

  chapter eighteen

  chapter nineteen

  chapter twenty

  chapter twenty-one

  chapter twenty-two

  chapter twenty-three

  chapter twenty-four

  chapter twenty-five

  chapter twenty-six

  chapter twenty-seven

  chapter twenty-eight

  chapter twenty-nine

  chapter thirty

  chapter thirty-one

  chapter thirty-two

  chapter thirty-three

  epilogue

  Chapter One

  Lo

  Have you ever lost yourself? Do you remember how it happened? The moment when it all came crashing down? Do you remember how it made you feel? Were you scared? Angry? Did it hit you so quickly that you never even saw it coming? Did you find yourself incapable of reclaiming the person you were before it all went wrong?

  That's how it was for me. One day, I was just a girl. Lauren. I was quiet, innocent, naive. I would lay in bed at night and dream about my future. I couldn't wait to find the perfect guy, get married, start a family. Back when I believed that all boys were princes and that happily ever after actually existed.

  I guess it's safe to say that I learned the cold hard truth eventually. Though by that time, the damage had already been done. In the blink of an eye, everything changed. What once felt right, no longer did. What once felt like home, felt more like a prison. I knew there was only one way I would ever be free...

  I wish running wasn't my solution. I wish there was another way. But there simply wasn't. I couldn't take the looks, the eyes that would follow me everywhere I went, the hushed whispers every time I would walk by. I was suffocating in my own skin with no hope of ever escaping.

  But I did escape. I moved on. I healed..... in my own way. And now, I'm free. But no matter how free I am, a part of me will always feel trapped. Forever stuck in the past. A past that haunts me. A past that blinds me. A past that still defines who I am to this very day.

  The innocent girl I was all those years ago is gone. Little Lauren is just a shadow, a void of things that used to be. Now everyone knows me as Lo. Resident wild child. The friend that everyone calls for a good time. I'm a dancer at Allure, one of the most secretive and exclusive clubs in the country.

  I'm not ashamed of who I am. I like sex. Love it actually. Some say I use it as a shield to hide behind, but those people just don't know me very well. I get off on getting off and I am not afraid to go for what I want.

  I don't do boyfriends.

  I don't do commitment.

  I don't do the same man twice.

  These are my rules.

  Chapter Two

  Lo

  “Earth to Lo. Come in Lo.” Anna's melodic voice breaks into my haze and I glance up at the mirror in front of me to meet her smiling face in the reflection.

  “Sorry.” I laugh, shaking my head and turning around to face her. “Oh my God girl, you look incredible.” I breathe, letting my eyes scan the length of her. Anna has always been beautiful. Flawless really. The kind of looks that make even the most confident women at least a little envious. The perfect combination between sex and innocence.

  But today she is so much more. Dressed in a beautiful white gown that hugs her figure perfectly and flows seamlessly to the floor, she looks every part of what a bride should look like on her wedding day. Well, besides the small baby bump that is now big enough that even a mountain of material can't hide it.

  She tried to of course, convinced that she was not going to look fat in her wedding pictures. But now, I think she has just embraced that it is what it is and whether she likes it or not, a baby belly is most definitely going to be photographed.

  “It doesn't look too bad?” She asks, flicking her eyes to her belly and then back up to my face. I can't help but laugh, covering my mouth with my hand to muffle the volume.

  She pins wide eyes on me and drops her hands to her hips, cocking her head to the side causing a mountain of brown curls to fall forward. “It's not that bad is it?” She crinkles her forehead while examining herself in the mirror behind me.

  “Would you relax?” I laugh again. “You look amazing.” I reassure her, stepping past her to grab my four inch silver heels from the floor before plopping down on the couch to slip them on.

  “I should have picked uglier dresses.” She pouts, pointing to the teal evening gown that I am wearing.

  “So that's your plan?” I snort. “Ugly us all up so you don't feel what, so pregnant.” I shake my head at her, pushing into a stand. “You look amazing. I promise.” I reassure her again, flipping my eyes to the door when Andrea, Anna's other Maid of Honor, pushes her way inside.

  “It is extremely hard to pee in this dress.” She whines, her olive cheeks shaded in red.

  “What the hell were you doing in there?” Anna laughs, taking in Andrea's flush complexion.

  “I was going pee. I thought we had already established that.” She turns curious eyes on me and then turns back to Anna. “It just took a little more effort than I was prepared for. Next time, remind me not to wear so many restricting layers under my dress.”

  “As if you need to wear anything under it.” I shake my head at Andrea, knowing full well that she doesn't. “What is it with women and feeling the need to wear every contraption under the sun to make themselves look thinner?”

  “Well we can't all be perfect like you.” Andrea retorts, sticking her tongue out at me in the process.

  “Perfect, no. Don't care, yes.” I shrug, turning towards the mirror to pull my long blonde curls into a side pony, tying it off with a white ribbon and flower that matches Andrea's hairstyle perfectly. We thought it would be fun to not only match the dress and shoes, but the hair and makeup as well.

  “What are you two going on about? I am the one that is getting married in less than twenty minutes.” Anna pulls the attention back to herself, stepping up next to me in front of the mirror and playfully pushing me to the side.

  “Um, last time I checked, you were already married.” I remind her.

  “Technically yes, but it's still my wedding.” She fans herself in the mirror while taking deep breaths, clearly getting more nervous the closer the ceremony gets.

  “Yes, and you know what that makes you?” I ask, draping my arm across her shoulder and meeting her eyes in the reflection of the mirror.

  “An idiot?” She laughs nervously.

  “No.” I laugh, shaking my head at her. “Lucky. You get to marry the man of your dreams not once, but twice. How many people can say that?”

  “She's right Anna.” Andrea pipes in, looking up from her place on the couch. “Bentley is every woman's dream and not only did you get to marry him on a beach in Hawaii, but now
you get to do it again at this incredible ceremony. Take a deep breath. Just focus on him and forget about everything else. You will be fine.”

  “I love you girls.” Anna turns watery eyes towards us.

  “Pregnancy hormone alert.” Andrea announces in a deep voice causing all three of us to burst into a fit of laughter. It's times like this that I am reminded how blessed I am to have Anna, and now Andrea, in my life.

  “Ladies.” Rebecca, Bentley's mom, knocks on the door before poking her head inside of the room. “We are just about ready. How is it coming.....” She stops mid sentence when her eyes land on Anna. “Oh Anna. You look perfect.” She sings, pushing her way fully into the room and crossing the space towards her daughter in law, taking both of Anna's hands in hers.

  “I'm gonna wait in the hallway.” I say, feeling like I am suddenly intruding on a special moment between the two. Andrea nods in agreement and stands, quickly following me out of the room.

  “So....” Andrea turns on me the moment the door clicks shut behind us. “Do you have a date for tonight?” She asks, raising her eyebrows at me.

  “No. Nor do I want one.” I answer quickly. “Don't worry about me.” I tack on when she cocks her head to the side to study me. “Just because I don't start the night off with a man, doesn't mean I won't end the night with one.” I raise my eyebrows up and down suggestively at her.

  “Oh my God.” She shakes her head and laughs at me. “You really are as crazy as Anna says.”

  “Thank you.” I smile jokingly at her.

  “Seriously though, is it true?” She asks, her eyes locked firmly on my face.

  “Is what true?” I laugh, having no idea what she is talking about.

  “That you never sleep with the same man twice?” She asks, her voice apologetic, though I am not entirely sure why she would need to feel apologetic about her question. I'm not ashamed.

  “Absolutely it is.” I laugh when her almost black eyes widen in surprise.

  “Wow.” She lets out a slow breath like she can't believe my bluntness. “How do you do it though? I mean, have you never met a man you wanted to hook up with more than once?”

  “I have met some amazing men and had even more amazing sex, but no. Anything beyond once is pointless. One time is not long enough for feelings to form. No one gets attached. No one gets hurt. Everyone walks away happy.” I shrug, having no desire to dive into why my views on sex are what they are.

  “I guess I can see your point.” She seems to be really considering my statement. “I have always had a problem with the relationship part. You know, the part that follows the sex. I mean, I have hooked up with the same person on numerous occasions obviously. Me and Collin have been seeing each other for almost six months now. But before him, I could never get past the first couple of months. As soon as the guy started pushing for commitment, I'd panic.”

  “But not with Collin?” I ask, leaning against the wall behind me and turning my head towards her.

  “I've had a few questioning moments but not really. He is the first person that I don't feel like I am suffocating when I am with him.”

  “Suffocating. That's a good way to put it.” I shake my head and let out a light laugh.

  “Well, I'm sure you'll find someone too. You know, someone that you want to continue to see after you hook up. It's bound to happen one of these days.” She smiles sweetly at me, twirling one of her dark curls around her finger.

  “I wouldn't count on that.” I let out a half snort, shaking my head.

  “And why is that?” She asks, clearly caught off guard by my reaction. I forget how very little Andrea still knows about me. We've hung out on several occasions but it's always been with Anna and very little of that time has been spent talking about anything of any real importance.

  “Because I won't let it happen.” I answer truthfully. “I am who I am. I've accepted that.”

  “You say that now. But really Lo, you're only twenty-three. You have no idea how you might feel when your twenty-five or thirty. You may enjoy the freedom and the random hookups but for how long?” She asks.

  “Did Anna put you up to this?” I ask, for the first time really connecting the dots. Ever since Anna stopped running from Bentley, she has been more and more on my case about my lifestyle. I mean, she's always given me shit. But the shit giving has increased ten fold since she added a husband and now a baby to the mix.

  “No she didn't. I'm just curious. I have never met anyone quite like you. Here I thought me and Anna were about as wild as they came. Before Bentley and Collin.” She quickly tacks on when she sees the disbelieving look that crosses my face. “But when you screwed that guy in the back alley behind the bar last night, I have to admit, I was shocked.” She laughs, her eyebrows pulling together.

  I open my mouth to respond but then close it again when Rebecca pushes her way through the door, followed by an emotional looking Anna. “Shira said they are ready.” Rebecca announces, gesturing for us to follow her.

  Throwing Anna a smile and a wink as she passes, I can't help but feel relieved that I am not in her shoes right now. While she is full of nerves and battling pregnancy hormones, I am going to be living it up and staking a claim on the man that will be lucky enough to land my attention for the night. Yep, I think I am just fine where I'm at.

  Chapter Three

  Dax

  “Fuck.” I pull at the tie around my neck, feeling like I am suffocating under the restriction of this damn suit. Serves me right for agreeing to this in the first place. I hate weddings. I hate everything about weddings. But then, what was I supposed to do? Tell my boss, and one of my oldest friends, that I had no interest in watching him enter into a lifelong jail sentence?

  That's what weddings are anyways; prison. I have never understood why anyone would want to do that to themselves. Fuck that. I like making my own rules. Doing what I want to do when I want to do it. And tonight... Well, if I am going to be forced to endure a wedding I don't want to be at, I am definitely going to make the most of it.

  I'm sure I can take my aggravation out on one of the single women that is sure to be here tonight. If Anna is any indication as to what her friends look like, I would even venture to say that I might actually enjoy myself. Well, what will happen after the celebration anyways.

  Pushing my way inside the church, I cringe slightly when the heavy wood door closes with a loud thud behind me. Looking to my right and then to my left, I spot two saps dressed in all black tuxedos, showing people inside a set of double doors that are propped open with large white vases containing what I can only describe as some kind of tropical tree.

  Shaking my head, I make my way in the direction of the other guests. Without waiting to be seated, I walk inside and immediately feel nauseated by the amount of white flowers and lace that covers the entire room. It's bad enough that Bentley is stupid enough to get married. It's even worse that he agreed to this mess.

  I spot Malcolm, someone I will soon be working with, near the back on the groom's side, his auburn haired fiancée tucked under his arm. Another man that is foolishly preparing to enter into marriage. Stopping directly next to the pew they're seated in, I slide in and take a seat at the very end, throwing Malcolm a nod when he catches sight of me.

  It's clear to see that the ceremony is about to start. Had I realized I was this close to being late, I would have taken a couple more laps around the block and then maybe I would have been lucky enough to miss the ceremony all together. I'm sure Bentley and his blushing bride would have been none the wiser.

  I settle back against the less than comfortable bench and watch as Bentley, Ethan, and the minister, make their way from a door at the side of the room towards the front, taking their places at the end of the red carpeted aisle. Had Bentley had his way, I would be standing right up there with them. No thank you. It's bad enough I have to be here, I certainly was not going to agree to parade around in a penguin suit all night and pretend to be happy to be here.

 
I can't help but shake my head in Bentley's direction. Not that he sees me or anything. I just can't believe a man like Bentley Reed has actually chosen to settle down with one woman. It just doesn't seem possible.

  If there's anyone in this world that could have any woman, anytime he wanted, it's Bentley. I will never understand why a man who owns seven of the most successful underground strip clubs and has more money than he knows what to do with, would get tied up with one of his own dancers. I mean, Anna is fucking gorgeous don't get me wrong, but to me, that would never be enough.

  I remember all the college parties him and I used to go to. The random girls. That was the life. Then, when I first started managing his club in Philly, hell, we used to pick up more women than we knew what to do with. Too bad he's moving me to his Chicago club, Allure, just as he has decided to settle down and start a family. Working for him won't be nearly as much fun now.

  It seems like just yesterday when him and I spent that wild night in Miami. Hell, I don't even remember what year that was. We couldn't have been more than twenty-two or twenty-three, back when Bentley was really breaking onto the professional soccer scene. That night will forever be one of the best times of my life.

  Anytime you wake up with not one, but two hot chicks draped across your body, you know it was a damn good night. But then to learn that Bentley had landed three, I think that's the first time I have ever been truly envious of another man. Now look at him, nearly ten years later. Smiling out at the crowd like he couldn't be happier. Shit. Poor guy. I wonder how long it will take before he realizes what a fucking mistake he's made.

  The elevator music that has been flooding the church since I arrived finally dies down, replaced by an older woman at the head of the room who begins playing a harp. I follow the heads in front of me as they turn towards the back of the room just as Rebecca, Bentley's mom, steps inside. She smiles brightly as she makes her way down the aisle and slides into the front row.