Crazy Stupid Perfection (Crazy Love, #3) Read online

  Crazy Stupid Perfection

  Crazy Love, Volume 3

  Melissa Toppen

  Published by Daft Empire, 2016.

  This is a work of fiction. Similarities to real people, places, or events are entirely coincidental.

  CRAZY STUPID PERFECTION

  First edition. October 4, 2016.

  Copyright © 2016 Melissa Toppen.

  ISBN: 978-1533765475

  Written by Melissa Toppen.

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

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  Sometimes love is crazy. Sometimes it's downright stupid. But it's both of these things that make it real. Here's to finding your own kind of perfect...

  Chapter One

  Paxton

  I’m so fucked up.

  I know I shouldn’t be here.

  I tried to stop myself from following her down the hall.

  I tried to resist when she pulled me into her room and locked the door behind us.

  I keep telling myself to stop.

  To stop kissing her.

  To stop touching her incredible skin.

  To just stop.

  But I can’t.

  I am so lost in the way her soft moans sound against my ear. In the way her fingers dig so deep into my fucking back it’s like she’s afraid she might fall if she loses her grip on me. In the way we seem to fit together like we were made to complete one another.

  Everything about this girl is fucking perfect.

  Everything except one very important thing...

  She’s my best friend’s little sister.

  Charlie Porter.

  I’ve known her for over half of my life. Hell, I fucking watched her grow up. I watched the skinny, awkward girl with a stutter turn into a stunning beautiful woman that fucking haunts me day and night.

  And now she’s here. She’s in my arms. She’s panting my name. She’s withering beneath me. And it’s even more incredible than I ever imagined.

  I know that this is something I will live to regret, but also one of those moments that I can’t force myself to walk away from. I may not be able to have her, but tonight, for just this small snippet of time, Charlie Porter is mine.

  Chapter Two

  Three Years Later...

  Paxton

  “I can’t stop thinking about you. You’re all I see. You’re all I want. I’m going out of my fucking mind.”

  I stare back at my reflection, hoping that just saying the words out loud will somehow calm the need I have to say them directly to Charlie. Words I have wanted to say to her since she returned home from New York just a few short weeks ago.

  Why did she have to fucking come home? I had made my peace with what happened between us. Well, as much peace as a person can make with something they are forced to live with, or without as it were.

  I watched her pack up and leave for New York knowing there was nothing I could do to stop her and I never breathed a word to anyone of our night together. But now she’s back and I just can’t seem to shake her. No matter how hard I try she’s always there, in the front of my mind, forcing me to face what I thought I had left in the past.

  “Fuck.” I run my hands through my hair, letting out a slow breath.

  I have to get a grip. I made my choice three years ago. Charlie being home does not change that. It was one night. One brilliant night that has played on repeat in my mind countless times since. Regardless, it doesn’t change the fact that this is Charlie Porter. Gavin’s little sister. My best friend’s little sister.

  I should have never crossed that line in the first place. I still feel guilty as fuck for it. Acting on anything now would just add to that and honestly, I don’t like keeping things from Gavin and Decklan. They are my brothers. My family.

  I can’t do this.

  “I can’t do this,” I repeat out loud, meeting my gaze in the bathroom mirror.

  I’ve been drinking with Gavin most of the evening. I’m not drunk but I’m not exactly sober either. I just know I shouldn’t be anywhere near Charlie in my condition. I’m too exposed. When Gavin said he wanted to get fucked up, I agreed whole heartedly, never expecting Charlie to show up hours in.

  Letting out another slow exhale, I shut off the running sink water and quickly exit the bathroom. I can hear Gavin rustling around in his bedroom as I step into the hallway, but instead of heading back to the room I’m temporarily staying in; I turn and head down the hall toward the living room.

  The moment I turn the corner and spot Charlie standing in front of the large window that overlooks downtown Portland, her arms crossed in front of herself, my mind just goes blank. My pep talk to myself just minutes ago disappearing somewhere behind the fog that seems to surround my brain every time I lay eyes on this girl.

  She turns her head, hearing me approach. Her dark eyes meet mine for a fraction of a second before turning back out the window.

  “What’s Gavin doing?” I ask, trying to keep the conversation casual. The same tactic I’ve been using for weeks.

  “Who knows?” She shrugs, not looking in my direction as I step up next to her, my gaze also focused on the city below us.

  “Shouldn’t you know?” I question. “Aren’t you the one they sent to keep an eye on him?” I ask, knowing Deck is the reason she’s here.

  Asshole could’ve at least given me a heads up. Then again why would he? He doesn’t have a clue about anything involving me and Charlie. Hell, he probably thought he was doing me a favor by sending over reinforcements.

  “I was sent to keep him here,” she corrects. “Not monitor his every move.” She shifts, letting out a long exhale. “He’s pretty tore up over that girl,” she adds softly.

  “He is,” I agree. “But that’s what love will do to a man.” My statement pulls her gaze towards me.

  “Like you would know. You’ve never been with a girl long enough to love her,” she quips.

  Her attempt to be playful falls flat and I can tell immediately that she knows it. I know her too well. She knows I do. Which is why she’s spent weeks trying to act like everything between us is completely normal when we both know it’s not.

  I’ve tried to talk to her about what happened between us. Hell, I’ve opened my mouth countless times but then can’t seem to find the words. So I’ve left it alone. I’ve played along in her little game to pretend like everything is fine. I’m just not sure how much longer I can do it.

  “I know what it feels like to be in love someone.” I keep my voice steady, my eyes focused on the city lights below rather than looking at the girl whose eyes are burning holes in the side of my face.

  “I didn’t realize.” I can hear the hurt in her voice despite the fact that she tries to hide it.

  Turning my face, the moment my eyes reach hers I suck in a ragged breath. She’s so fuckin
g beautiful it hurts. She pushes her dark brown hair over her shoulder, causing it to fall in thick waves to the middle of her back, as she narrows her gaze at me. We’re close enough that I can see the yellow that freckles her dark eyes. It takes everything in me not to reach out and trail my hand down her perfect ivory skin. Fuck. The power this girl has over me is terrifying.

  It hurts that she believes my love would be for someone other than her. It hurts to look at her knowing I can’t have her. It hurts to stand this close to her knowing I can’t touch her.

  I can feel my skin start to prickle the longer I stare at her. Every single fiber of my being wants to fucking pull her into my arms and claim her as my own.

  “Why are playing with me?” The words leave my mouth without a thought.

  Her eyes widen and she lets out a nervous laugh, clearly caught off guard by my question.

  “Me?” She phrases it like it’s the most ridiculous thing she’s ever heard.

  “You.” I confirm, not meaning for the word to sound so harsh.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She stumbles over her words, the same way she’s always done when she gets flustered.

  “You know exactly what I’m talking about.” I keep my voice low as to not be overheard by Gavin.

  “Actually I don’t.” She shakes her head in disbelief. “If anyone is playing games it’s you. That is your specialty after all.”

  The air becomes so thick around us that for a brief moment I almost find it difficult to breath.

  “Is that what you think I did? That I played you?” The heat that rises in my throat makes me feel like I could breathe fucking fire.

  “I’m not doing this Paxton.” Her eyes dart towards the hallway and I follow her gaze.

  There’s no one there.

  “So we’re just gonna continue to pretend like nothing ever happened?” I let out a frustrated sigh, throwing my hands up in the air.

  “What do you want from me Paxton?” Her voice is riddled with a combination of anger and sadness that damn near drops me to my knees.

  I don’t realize I’ve reached for her until she’s already pressed tightly against my chest. At which point I know it’s too late. I can’t stop myself from leaning forward. I can’t stop myself from pressing my lips firmly against hers.

  She hesitates for only a moment before her hands are tangling in my hair and she’s pulling me deeper into the kiss. The feel of her against me, the taste of her on my tongue, the feeling of her slender body as it trembles slightly against mine, it’s enough to drive me fucking crazy.

  Suddenly all I want is to be on her, inside her, and I don’t give two fucks what anyone has to say about it. But just as the thought takes hold, Charlie abruptly pulls away, taking two full steps backwards.

  She opens her mouth to say something, her cheeks flushed, her breathing erratic, but then she closes it without a word when Gavin steps around the corner, his face focused on the screen of his cell phone.

  Suddenly the need to escape becomes overwhelming and before I can even process my actions I am slipping on my jacket and heading towards the front door. I don’t know where I’m going or why. All I know is if I don’t get out of here right fucking now, I’m likely to do something I will greatly regret.

  “Where the fuck are you going?” Gavin’s voice halts my movements just as I pull open the front door.

  “I gotta few things to take care of. I’ll be back later.” I don’t give him a chance to respond before I am in the hallway, pulling the door closed behind me.

  “What the fuck was that?” I mutter out loud, trying to process what just happened.

  Knowing I just need to clear my fucking head, I quickly exit the condo building and take off down the sidewalk. Even though the sun has set, the sky is still ablaze with the lights of the city.

  I walk for a good thirty minutes, my mind jumping between Charlie and Gavin. What if I just told him? What would his reaction be to finding out that I’m fucking in love with his little sister and have been for years?

  Truth is I already know his reaction, which is exactly why he can never find out. He’d never forgive me. Family is everything to him. Right now I’m a part of that family. But I won’t be if I can’t lock this shit down.

  I look up just in time to see the glowing sign of Deviants to my right. Veering in that direction, I jog across the street and push my way inside, just hoping for some sort of distraction. I catch sight of Decklan and Kimber just as they disappear behind the door that leads up to his apartment. So much for Decklan’s help in the distraction department.

  Shaking my head, I slide into a stool at the end of the bar and nod to the bartender Val, who notices me almost instantly. Leaning forward, I peer toward the blonde on my right, immediately doing a double take when I realize it’s Harlee.

  Harlee, as in the girl Gavin is at home sulking over right now. This explains why Decklan sent Charlie to the condo. I thought she was there to make sure his drunk ass didn’t do something stupid. Clearly he just didn’t want Gavin stumbling in and realizing that Harlee’s here. I know without a doubt that this is Kimber’s doing. No way Deck would purposely keep things from Gavin without some kind of inside influence. Fuck, he’s as pussy whipped as they come.

  “You look so happy right now,” Harlee slurs, clearly just noticing me.

  “Yeah, well.” I shrug, nodding toward Val as she sits a beer in front of me.

  “Wanna talk about it?” She pushes.

  “Nope.” I raise the beer bottle to my lips and drain half the bottle in one drink.

  I’m not trying to be an asshole or anything. I just have no desire to discuss Charlie with anyone, let alone the girl Gavin is currently balls deep over.

  “That bad huh?” She asks, kicking her leg over the stool next to her when some young dude tries to sit down. “Taken,” she chimes with a smile.

  “You have no idea.” I sigh, answering her question after the guy walks away.

  “Girl trouble?” She asks.

  “Something like that.”

  “Well you’ve come to the right place. I’m having major girl trouble.” She hesitates for a moment and then laughs at herself. “I mean boy trouble. I like boys, not girls. I mean, I like dick. Oh my God. I just said that out loud didn’t I?” She rambles, causing me to laugh despite my sour mood.

  “You’re cute.” I observe, for the first time really taking a moment to observe Harlee.

  I finish off the remainder of my beer in one long gulp, sliding the empty bottle across the bar. “I can see why Gavin is so taken with you,” I add, nodding once again at Val when she slides another beer across the bar to me.

  “Yeah, not so much anymore.” She sighs, taking a long drink from the glass in front of her.

  “Maybe someone should tell him that.” I chuckle, for some reason finding humor in this whole situation.

  Gavin is at home torn up over a girl who is sitting at his bar clearly trying to drink him away. All the while I’m all fucked up over his sister who I kissed and then just walked away from.

  “From where I’m sitting he’s still very much taken with you,” I add on.

  “Yeah well, from where I’m sitting, I’m pretty sure he hates my guts. Love sucks. Where the hell is Kimber?” She changes the subject so abruptly it takes me a moment to catch up.

  “I saw her and Decklan go upstairs on my way in.”

  “Fucking whore,” she blurts, covering her mouth instantly like she can’t believe she just said that out loud.

  My beer catches in my throat and I have to force it down before bursting out in laughter. “You have no fucking filter. You realize this right?” I wipe at some of the liquid that managed to escape the side of my mouth.

  “Me? That’s completely untrue. Didn’t you hear, I’m the coward who hides behind her own excuses?”

  “Well that’s okay because I’m the asshole who dicks over his friend and completely fucks everything up every chance he gets.” I shake m
y head, wishing the statement hadn’t just left my mouth.

  “We should start a club.” She doesn’t acknowledge my comment, holding her drink up.

  “And what should we call said club?” I turn toward her, a small smirk on my face.

  “How about The Fuck Love Club?” Her smile widens.

  “Fuck love,” I agree, clinking my beer bottle against her glass before we both drink.

  I no more than swallow the cold liquid when I look up and am hit with the vicious glare of Gavin who is standing directly in front of us at the other end of the bar. Fucking awesome. Not only am I hiding shit from him about Charlie but now he probably thinks I’m trying to move in on his girl.

  I watch as seconds later Decklan and Kimber appear next to him out of nowhere, Decklan clearly trying to keep him calm. I don’t even realize Harlee has moved until I hear the legs of her stool scrape the floor next to me. I turn just in time to see her slip out of the front door.

  I look back towards Gavin just as he realizes Harlee is gone, shrugging as I gesture towards the door. He takes off after her, disappearing outside moments later.

  “What the fuck dude?” Decklan’s voice pulls my attention to where he and Kimber have approached. “I thought you guys were going to keep him home?”

  “I thought that was Charlie’s gig?” I shrug. “Besides, I had no clue you were trying to keep him away because of that.” I point behind me toward the door where Harlee just exited.

  “Fuck.” Decklan sighs, running his hands through his hair.

  “It’s fine.” Kimber reassures him. “Maybe this is what they need.” She gives me a nod and a sweet smile, her way of telling me it’s not my fault.

  Fuck, it might as well be. I’m in the business of fucking things up tonight apparently.

  “I need a drink.” Decklan slides into the stool next to me and waves at Val.

  “You leaving me hanging?” She slides a coaster in front of him and waits for his order.

  Decklan and Gavin co-own Deviants. Clearly Decklan was bartending at some point tonight based on Val’s comment.