A Thousand Cuts (CELL BLOCK C) Read online

  I nod, pulling her back out into the hallway with me.

  After thoroughly inspecting the house, Ainsley and I both come to the same conclusion. Whoever was here either had no intention of robbing the place or they got spooked when they realized someone was home and took off before they got the chance.

  “They must have come in here after we went out to the kitchen,” Ainsley says, clinging tightly to me as we make our way back into her bedroom.

  Once we’re both inside, she turns, closing and locking the door.

  “But why would they do that? They had to have known shortly after they entered the house that someone was here. So why risk coming into your room and rummaging through drawers?” I ask, something about this entire thing not sitting right with me.

  “I don’t know,” she murmurs, making her way toward the dresser. She looks inside the two top drawers for a long moment before turning back to me, a horrified look on her face.

  “What? What is it?”

  “They stole some of my underwear.” Her voice is so soft I almost can’t make out the words.

  “They what?” I question anyway.

  “They stole some of my underwear,” she repeats a little louder this time.

  “Are you sure?” I quickly cross the room toward her.

  “I’m positive.” She points inside the small drawer on the left. “I just did laundry earlier this afternoon.” She clears her throat. “Why would someone break into my house and only take those items?”

  “I can think of a few reasons,” I grind out, anger bubbling in my chest. “This is my fault.”

  “What?” She draws back. “How is any of this your fault?”

  “Because I left the bedroom window unlocked. I know what kind of sick fucks hang around this neighborhood.”

  “You didn’t leave the window unlocked. The lock is broken. Even if you lock it, it doesn’t actually lock. Besides, I leave my window open all the time when the weather’s nice. Not to mention our front door is unlocked more often than not.”

  “That doesn’t make me feel any better.” I turn, pacing to the other side of the room.

  “What I don’t understand, though,” she says, thinking aloud. “Is how someone would know where to go unless they had been here before?”

  “What do you mean?” I stop moving, my gaze locking with hers across the room.

  “Think about it. They came in through your bedroom, my dad’s old room. Pretty much anyone who’s ever been here knows that room is usually unoccupied. And it just so happens to have a window that doesn’t lock, which makes it the perfect place to sneak in undetected. Then, add on the fact that whoever it was obviously knew what they were looking for and where to look. If it wasn’t for them knocking the lamp over on their way out we probably would never have even known they were here.”

  “So you think it was someone you know?” I question, knowing that out of the two scenarios, this would likely be the worst case. When it’s someone you know, it makes it that much more personal.

  “Maybe.” She chews on her lower lip as she mulls it over. “God, I don’t know. Maybe I’m just trying to make sense of it. I know it’s only some underwear, but knowing someone came in here and stole something of mine, something so intimate and private, it really creeps me out.”

  “You have every reason to feel that way.” I cross the room toward her, tugging her into my arms. “I’m so sorry this happened.”

  “So am I. And not because of some stupid underwear but because what started out as probably the best night of my life is now being overshadowed by some douche bag breaking into my house.”

  “The best night of your life?” I pull back slightly, smiling down at her.

  “I said probably,” she fires back, purposely trying to burst my bubble.

  “For what it’s worth, it would take a hell of a lot more than someone breaking in to diminish how this evening began.” I tip her chin upward.

  “Is that so?” She relaxes slightly in my arms.

  “It is. And...” I lean down and kiss her mouth. “If we hurry, maybe we can end on just as high of a note.” I slide my tongue along the seam of her lips.

  “You’re trying to distract me.” How well she knows me.

  “Is it working?” I smile against her mouth.

  “Maybe,” she admits, wrapping her arms around the back of my neck.

  “Maybe?” I chuckle. “Maybe I should stop then.” I start to pull away but her grip on me instantly tightens, holding me in place.

  “Don’t you dare,” she warns, angling her head just in time for me to slide my tongue against hers. She whimpers into my mouth and I swear I nearly come undone still fully clothed.

  What have I gotten myself into?

  Chapter 16

  Ainsley

  “Wait.” Lily holds her hands up. “You mean to tell me not only did your house get broken into, but you also slept with Ryland last night?” She gapes at me. When she came home with Finn, we’d told them about the break in, but that was where we’d stopped sharing the events of the evening. “And you’re just telling me this now?” She doesn’t try to hide the hurt that slides across her pretty face.

  “It’s not like it happened a week ago. It was yesterday. And truthfully, I needed some time to process everything before I said it out loud. Besides, when was I supposed to tell you? When you were standing next to my brother?” I give her a knowing look.

  “Fair enough,” she admits. “So, you slept with Ryland.” She shakes her head. “You slept with Ryland.” It’s like she’s trying to wrap her head around it.

  “How many times are you going to say it?”

  “As many times as I have to. I’m processing here.”

  “Listen, I know you and Finn are doing this whole dating thing now,” I say, still not entirely sure how I feel about them seeing each other. “But you cannot say a word to him. He would kill Ryland...and me.”

  “Is that why you didn’t tell me right away? Because you thought I would tell Finn?” She leans back away from the table, her water glass clenched in between both hands.

  “What? Of course not.” I immediately deny the accusation even though deep down it definitely weighed on my decision when I was trying to decide whether to tell her at all.

  A part of me wanted to keep it between me and Ryland, but then I realized that not having anyone to talk to about it was killing me, which is why I invited Lily out for Mexican. I needed a safe space where I could talk freely and not have to worry about being overheard.

  It wasn’t until this morning that I realized just how paper thin the walls in our house are. Finn and Ryland were talking in Ryland’s bedroom as they were fixing the lock on his window and I could hear everything they said. I swear it sounded like they were standing right in front of me.

  I hadn’t considered the fact that our rooms share a wall or what that might mean as far as being able to hear things from the other rooms. No one has lived in there since my dad passed away eight years ago so I never noticed. Of course, that caused me to reevaluate every conversation I’ve had in my room since Ryland moved in and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little panicked over what he may have heard.

  “I know this thing between me and Finn is sudden but I’m still your best friend. I would never betray your trust that way. I hope you know that.”

  “I do. Of course I do. I just wasn’t sure what to say at the time. Hell, I’m still not. It just kind of happened.”

  “Things don’t just kind of happen. Something always starts them.” She arches a perfectly shaped eyebrow at me. “It was the night before last, wasn’t it?

  “Oh, you mean the night you snuck off and boned my brother?” I can’t stop myself from saying.

  “One, who says bone anymore?” She snorts. “And two, I thought you were okay with me and Finn.”

  “I am,” I insist, wishing I could take back the snarky comment. It’s clear that Lily is worried about the effect this is going to have on our rel
ationship, and as her friend I really shouldn’t give her more grief than necessary. “And yes, it was the same night,” I tack on, hoping to propel the conversation forward because right now I really need to hash this whole Ryland thing out with my best friend.

  “I knew something went down but you never told me what.”

  “Probably because you were too busy with my brother.” I can’t stop myself. “Sorry.” I don’t know what is wrong with me right now.

  “Ainsley, if you’re not okay with me and Finn, you need to tell me now. Don’t play this passive aggressive game with me where you pretend like everything is fine when it isn’t.”

  “I am okay with it. I really am,” I insist. “I’m just having a bit of a mental meltdown here.”

  “Then stop with the snark and talk to me.”

  “I’m sorry.” I blow out a breath. “It wouldn’t be so bad had Ryland initiated this whole thing, but he didn’t, I did. And now I’m second guessing myself. He barely spoke to me today. I’m starting to freak out a little.”

  “Well, have you stopped to think about why this might be?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, has he even had the opportunity to talk to you? Finn was home all day was he not?”

  “Yeah.” I stab a fork into my taco salad.

  “Ryland probably doesn’t want to raise any suspicion so he’s keeping his distance around Finn. Finn thinks you two are still on shaky ground. Acting like you are best friends all of a sudden might raise some red flags.”

  “Hmm. I hadn’t really thought of that,” I admit. “I just thought maybe Ryland was having second thoughts.”

  “Given the way he kept looking at you the other night, I don’t think that’s the case.”

  “What do you mean?” My heartrate spikes.

  “I’m just saying, that man looks at you like the sun rises and sets with you. If he’s keeping his distance, it’s not because he’s lost interest or is having second thoughts, of that much I’m sure.”

  “You don’t even know him. How can you be so sure?”

  “I may not know him well but I know men. Just trust me on this one, girl.”

  “I wish I shared your confidence. I just feel so all over the place. It’s like one minute I’m pissed that he’s back and the next I’m fawning over him like he never left. Only now I’m even more infatuated with him than I was five years ago. I’m driving myself crazy thinking that maybe he only slept with me because he was desperate. And now he regrets it because he sees that deep down I really am still that same pathetic little girl who used to follow him around like a lost puppy.”

  “Slow down there, killer.” Lily laughs. “One, a man like that doesn’t sleep with a girl out of desperation. Seriously, have you looked at him?”

  “Um, yeah, pretty sure I have,” I deadpan.

  “Well then you know what I’m talking about. He could probably sleep with quite literally anyone he wanted to. He slept with you because he wanted to. I don’t think he’d risk his friendship with Finn for a piece of ass. And two, you’re not a pathetic little girl. You’re a grown ass woman who went after what she wanted. There’s no shame in that.”

  “Then why do I feel like I seriously ruined everything?”

  “Because you’re in it. You’re fully invested. And the thought of things not going your way terrifies you.”

  “You know me too well,” I tell her, a trace of a smile pulling at my lips.

  “You’re just now realizing this?” She laughs. “Listen, if you’re that worried about it, talk to him.”

  “You’re right. I need to bite the bullet and do it. Maybe after Finn goes to bed.”

  “Or, you could do it now,” she suggests.

  “I can’t risk it with Finn home.”

  “Maybe I can help in that regard.” She grins at me from across the table as she grabs her purse and drops it into her lap. Moments later she pulls out her cell phone, sliding her finger across the screen.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Calling Finn,” she tells me, pressing the phone to her ear. “Finn, hey. It’s Lily.” She smiles, nibbling on her lower lip. “What are you doing right now?” She looks up at me and winks. “You just read my mind. I’ll meet you there in twenty.” With that, she hangs up the phone, setting the device on the table. “There,” she announces. “Problem solved.”

  “That seemed way too easy.”

  “It was.” She laughs. “Apparently he was getting ready to call me to see if I wanted to have drinks. I’m meeting him at Moe’s in twenty minutes.”

  “Must be nice being old enough to drink.” I grimace. I’m a little salty over the fact that she turned twenty-one a few weeks ago and I still have three months to go. Not that I really have any desire to go out drinking. I just like the idea of knowing I can if I want to.

  “It really is.” She picks up her phone and drops it back into her purse. “Now, let’s get the bill paid so you can get home and I can go provide you with some cover.”

  “Okay. But first I need to get a box.”

  Fifteen minutes later, I pull into the driveway. Finn’s car is still here but I expected as much considering he typically walks to Moe’s. Climbing out of the car, I grab my leftovers and purse before knocking the door closed with my hip.

  Making my way up to the front porch, I jump, nearly dropping the carryout container when I hear a voice behind me right as I reach the door.

  “What did you bring me?”

  I swing around to find Ryland coming up the steps behind me.

  “Why do you keep doing that?” I bite at him.

  “Doing what?” He grins, sliding past me before opening the front door, waiting for me to enter before following me inside.

  “Sneaking up on me like that,” I tell him, dropping my purse just inside the door.

  “I’m not doing it intentionally.” He chuckles.

  “And it’s taco salad,” I say, holding up the Styrofoam container. “You want some?”

  “I already ate, but thank you.” He takes the container from my hand. “I’ll stick this in the fridge for you.”

  “You don’t have to do that.” But he’s already halfway to the kitchen by the time I finish my sentence. Following after him, I enter the room just as he’s closing the refrigerator. “What were you doing outside anyway?” I question, leaning against the doorframe.

  “I was just checking things out.” He turns, pulling out a chair at the kitchen table before taking a seat.

  “Checking things out?” I arch a brow at him, pushing away from the door before heading in his direction. I pull out the chair directly across from him and take a seat. “As in you were trying to see if whoever broke in last night was stupid enough to be lurking around.”

  “Pretty much.”

  “Well, you and Finn fixed the window and there’s no way I’m leaving any doors unlocked anytime soon so I think we’ll be good.”

  “No, I know the house is secure. But the fact still remains that someone did break in.”

  “Trust me,” I lean back in the chair, “I don’t need a reminder. I’m well aware that someone was here. I have a half empty underwear drawer to prove it.” I cross my arms in front of myself.

  An awkward silence settles over us and for the first time in my life I feel like I have no idea what to say. The person who always has something to say about everything is at a loss for words.

  “So, did you arrange for Lily to get Finn out of the house so we could sit here and stare at each other or did you have something you wanted to talk about?”

  “I didn’t...” I start, but then realize that lying is pointless. He clearly already knows the truth. “Fine,” I grind out. “You caught me. She called him for me.”

  “Well, if it makes you feel any better I had convinced him to call her just moments before she called him.” He grins.

  “You did?” My stomach dances to life. “Why?”

  “Because I knew that we needed to talk
and that there was no way we were going to be able to do so with Finn here.”

  “Seems we had the same idea in mind.”

  “Seems we did.” He nods. “So, are you going to talk?”

  “Me? You said you needed to talk to me. You start.”

  “No, I said we needed to talk.”

  “Now you’re just splitting hairs. Clearly you had something you wanted to say, so say it.”

  “You first.”

  “Ryland.” I give him a pointed look.

  “Fine. I’ll go first.” The playfulness fades from his expression. “Last night shouldn’t have happened.”

  “I knew you were going to do this,” I interrupt, anger and disappointment building in my chest.

  “Before you get all quick tempered on me, maybe you should let me finish.” His eyes twinkle with amusement.

  “Fine.” I gesture for him to continue.

  “What I was going to say is, last night shouldn’t have happened, but I also can’t bring myself to regret that it did.” He meets my gaze and holds it. “I have no idea what the hell we’re doing here, Ainsley. But I do know that whatever it is, I don’t want it to stop.”

  “Neither do I,” I admit, relief flooding through me.

  “With any other woman I would probably let this ride and see where it goes but I can’t do that with you. I have to know going in what it is that you’re wanting out of this.”

  “What I’m wanting out of this?” I crinkle my forehead in confusion. “I thought I was pretty clear with what I want... You.”

  “That’s a pretty broad statement. Is this just sexual? Are you trying to fulfill some childhood fantasy?”

  “Are you seriously asking me this right now?”

  “Yes, I am. Because if I’m going to risk everything on this, Ainsley, I need to know we’re on the same page.”

  “And what page is that?” I ask, needing him to be the one to set the terms.

  “I don’t want to just fuck you. Well, I do.” He chuckles, lightening the mood slightly. “But that’s not all I want. You are not someone’s booty call. You are a woman that deserves so much more than that.”