Crazy Stupid Perfection (Crazy Love, #3) Read online

  “You’ve slowed down enough.” He states the obvious, looking around the half empty bar.

  “Yeah, yeah.” She rolls her eyes. “What can I get ya?”

  “Whiskey?” Decklan turns to me, cocking his eyebrow.

  “Whiskey.” I agree with a nod.

  Kimber clears her throat behind Decklan, giving him a sweet smile when he turns toward her. “Only one.” He promises as he pulls her into his lap.

  “One?” She arches her brow pulling a smile from Deck just moments before he leans forward and lays a kiss to the tip of her nose.

  The whole interaction makes me uncomfortable. Don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t be happier for Deck, but these two are bit nauseating to watch if I’m being honest.

  I turn my attention back to Val just as she reappears in front of us, two shots in her hand. Sliding one to me and the other to Deck, we clink glasses and drink, the liquid burning a hot trail all the way down my throat.

  Sliding the empty glass across the bar, I gesture to Val for another. Shaking her head, she grabs the bottle of whiskey and has my shot refilled before I even have a chance to speak.

  Decklan may have promised Kimber only one but I made no such promises. Right now I just want to forget this fucking day ever happened and I will drink the entire bottle of fucking whiskey to do it if that’s what it takes.

  Chapter Three

  Charlie

  “What the hell is wrong with me?” I scold myself, pacing back and forth across the worn carpet that lines my childhood bedroom.

  First I kissed Paxton, or rather kissed him back, then I was so distracted by said kiss that I let Gavin leave without even noticing he was gone. I suck on all sorts of levels tonight. At least Kimber called me to let me know that he’s with Harlee and all appears to be well. Hopefully the two of them will work their shit out and stop putting everyone else in the middle of their drama.

  Running my hands through my long brown hair, I tug at the ends, letting out a frustrated groan when I go back to the reason I was distracted in the first place.

  I’ve spent three years pretending like Paxton Stewart doesn’t exist and now that I’m home, now that I find myself thrown back into the world I left all those years ago, I just can’t seem to find my footing. One look into those stunning green eyes and my mind turns to mush.

  “Remember.” I grind out through gritted teeth.

  I will myself to return to that night. To the night when I practically begged Paxton to be my first. To the night when I finally experienced what it felt like to be held in the arms of the man I had been obsessing over since before I was really even old enough to look at boys in that way.

  But remembering that night isn’t the point, it’s remembering what happened next that jolts me back to my senses. The way I felt when I woke the next morning. The memories that hit me like a tidal wave. Every kiss. Every graze of his hand against my skin. The way his voice sounded when he said my name. Every single moment flooded through me until all I could see was Paxton and I couldn’t fight the elation I felt.

  I was happy. No, I was more than just happy, I was in love. And then just like that, it all came crashing down around me.

  “Charlie, you okay?” I hear a light rap at the door followed by my mother’s concerned voice.

  “Yeah, fine mom.” I lie, pausing in the middle of the room to stare at the door.

  “You sure? You only pace when you’re upset.” She calls me out.

  I should have known she could hear me. This old house creaks every time you move. Though I’m not entirely sure why she’s up to be able to hear me in the first place.

  “I’m not pacing, just hanging up some laundry.” I blurt the first excuse that comes to mind.

  “This late?” Her question prompts me to look at the clock on the bedside table. Just after three o’clock in the morning.

  “I just got home from Gavin’s and needed to get it done.”

  “Okay. Well I’m going back to bed then. Unless you need some help.”

  “Nope. I’m good,” I say, trying to keep my voice light. “I filled the car up on my way home too,” I add, for some reason wanting to make someone aware of my excuse for fleeing Gavin’s after he took off tonight.

  Needing to return the car to mom seems like as good of an excuse as any. Truth is I just didn’t want to hang around and face Paxton when he decided to finally come home. It would be so much easier if he wasn’t living with my brother right now.

  “Okay thanks honey. Love you.” My mom once again interrupts my thoughts.

  “Love you too mom.”

  I wait until I hear her bedroom door close down the hall before my pacing resumes.

  My mind immediately floods back to Paxton, my stomach twisting into a hard knot as I replay the events of the day.

  I close my eyes and I can see his eyes, the normally bright green darkening to near black as he stared back at me. He hasn’t looked at me like that since the day he told me that our night together was a mistake and that he couldn’t be with me in the way I wanted.

  He was upset with me tonight, though I’m not entirely sure why. He had been drinking, that much I know for sure. But it still doesn’t explain why he cornered me the way he did, demanding to know why I was playing games with him.

  Me? Playing games?

  Since when is trying to move past the man who broke my heart a game?

  It took everything in me not to slap him right across the face right then and there.

  When I returned home from New York just a few weeks ago I was determined to act like our one night together three years ago never happened. That we were still the same Paxton and Charlie that we’d always been. He would never know that I realized I was in love with him that night or how much his rejection hurt me when he pushed me away afterward. I knew it wouldn’t change anything.

  But now I just don’t know anything anymore.

  I never expected so much anger from him, especially given that he’s avoided me at every turn since I returned home. I haven’t seen him but a handful of times since I’ve been here and all of those times were because we were forced into a group setting. I tried to keep things casual, to make sure he knew I wasn’t bitter about how things played out between us. The way he responded to me I thought we were on the same page; to leave the past in the past. Up until tonight I was convinced that he couldn’t care less about the approach I was taking.

  Now, out of nowhere, everything seems to have shifted. If I didn’t know any better I would say he was the one whose heart was broken three years ago and not the other way around.

  So much has changed since I’ve been gone. Paxton has changed. He’s harder, more closed off than he was before. Hell, I didn’t even know his mom had passed away until my brother Gavin mentioned him spending the last few months in California with her. I’ve missed so much and yet at the same time, so much is still the same.

  The way my heart flutters in my chest every time he walks into a room. The way my skin blazes to life when I feel his eyes on me. The way his smile melts everything else away until all I can see is his beauty and none of the pain that accompanies it.

  My phone chimes to life, pulling my attention to the device as it vibrates against the top of the dresser. I hesitate for a split second before snatching it into my hand and looking at the screen.

  My heart explodes in my chest when I see Paxton’s name and the text message that follows.

  Paxton: I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me tonight.

  My hands tremble as I type out a response, clicking send before I have time to back out.

  Me: What are you sorry for?

  His response is almost instant.

  Paxton: For kissing you.

  The anger I felt earlier returns full force. So this is how it’s going to be then? As if he’s not toyed with me enough over the years.

  Me: Then why did you do it?

  I hold my breath, waiting for a response, but it doesn’t come. I stare at th
e damn screen for a good ten minutes before tossing it across the room. It bounces off the top of the bed and then tumbles to the floor on the other side.

  I collapse face first on top of the mattress, burying my face into the thick comforter to muffle my scream of frustration. I can’t do this. I can’t let him pull me in just to push me away. Not again.

  I’m not the same girl I used to be. Like Paxton, I’ve changed too. New York changed me. Drew changed me. Just the thought of Drew’s name alone causes a tight knot to form in the pit of my stomach and I immediately try to shake it away. I won’t go back there. I can’t.

  I refocus on Paxton, though I’m not sure that’s really any better. He may not have hurt me physically like Drew, but the emotional scarring runs just as deep.

  I scatter across the top of the mattress when I hear the muffled vibration of my phone. With my body hanging half way off the bed, I finally locate it hidden behind the bed skirt. Snatching it off the floor, I hold the phone close to my face..

  Paxton: Because I can’t help myself.

  I try to fight the smile that forms on my lips as I type out my response. I don’t want his words to affect me the way they do but I can’t help it. No matter how hard I try to fight it, I’m still in love with Paxton. Honestly, I don’t think that will ever change. But that doesn’t change our situation.

  Me: Well perhaps you should try.

  It feels like time slows down as I wait for his reply. Each second that ticks by feels like an eternity. When the phone finally lights up again, I am stunned by his response.

  Paxton: I’ve been trying for years. I’m done trying.

  I don’t know how to respond. My heart is beating so hard, all I can hear is it thudding over and over again against my ribcage, the sound echoing through my ears.

  Me: What are you saying?

  He doesn’t reply to my question and I am fairly certain it’s probably because he’s passed out drunk or something. He will probably wake up tomorrow, realize his mistake and then scramble to smooth things over with me. I’ve experienced this reaction from him before.

  I shake my head, knowing that tomorrow it will all be back to same old song and dance and it’ll be like today never happened. I hate to jump to that conclusion but it’s hard not to, especially when you’re dealing with a man like Paxton. The same familiar sting of rejection starts to take hold

  “Get a grip Charlie.” I sigh, rolling onto my back.

  The mattress creaks below me as I move and I cringe slightly at the noise. The light is still on in the room but at this point I just feel too drained to even think about getting up and shutting it off. Instead I just stare at the ceiling, replaying the moment Paxton’s lips met mine over and over again until all I can see is him. All I can feel is him. I slowly drift to sleep with the memory lingering, taking hold and refusing to let go.

  ****

  Three days later...

  “Get up!” I hear Gavin’s voice just seconds before I feel the mattress dip as he sits down on the edge of the bed next to me. “Char. Wake the fuck up.” He shakes my shoulder, pulling me out of my groggy, half sleep state.

  “What?” I smack his hand away, peeking one eye open.

  “I need your help with something.”

  “Oh my god. I’m not helping you with your Harlee drama anymore. Seriously, it’s been what, two days? Certainly you didn’t screw it up already,” I groan, rolling to the opposite side.

  “Shut the fuck up Char.” To my surprise he laughs, causing me to look over my shoulder at him.

  “I take it you and Harlee are good then?” I shake my head before collapsing back down onto my pillow.

  If his excited nature didn’t give it away, that damn smile taking over his entire face sure as hell does. I haven’t actually heard from my big brother since I let him leave the condo the other night like I was told not to. Guess something good came out of me failing as a man sitter.

  “Better than good.” His smile widens.

  “Great,” I say sarcastically, not at all happy about being woken up. “Now, would you tell me what the hell is so important that you had to barge in here and wake me up?” I roll onto my back and rub my eyes with the back of my hands, yawning loudly.

  “Well, Deck is kinda getting married.” He fights a laugh.

  “Duh. I was there when they announced it,” I say, clearly annoyed.

  “You misunderstand. He’s getting married like now.” He laughs when he catches my expression.

  “What?” I choke out, clearly confused. “I thought they were eloping this summer? Did I miss a couple of months somewhere?”

  “He called me this morning. He and Kimber decided they didn’t want to wait so they’re planning a last minute trip to Vegas this weekend.”

  “Seriously. Decklan can’t do better than Vegas?” I ask, honestly a little annoyed.

  “Actually it was Kimber’s idea.” He laughs when he registers my surprise. “I know, right?” His smile widens. “I thought the same thing.”

  “Okay so when is this trip and what do you need from me?” I ask, not really sure what he’s getting at.

  “They want to fly us all out tomorrow, have the ceremony on Saturday, and then we would fly back on Sunday. Decklan is planning on leaving with Kimber directly from Vegas to St. John. Apparently she’s always wanted to vacation there so he’s gonna surprise her with a trip after the wedding.”

  “Wait, what do you mean fly us all out? I can’t go to Vegas.” I object. “Besides, why would they even want me there? It’s not like Kimber even really knows me.”

  “Are you kidding me right now Char?” Gavin crinkles his forehead in confusion. “You are just as much Decklan’s sister as you are mine. Of course he wants you there.”

  “So is Mia invited too?” I ask, referring to our older sister.

  “What do you think?” He hits me with a smirk.

  I don’t even know why I asked. Decklan has never been close to Mia. Hell, none of us have. She’s always been kind of out there on her own, completely by her own doing of course.

  “It’s just gonna be me, you, Harlee, Paxton and Angel. Of course they invited mom but you know how she is about flying.”

  “So let me get this straight. They expect everyone to just pick up and fly to Vegas with one days’ notice?” I interject, knowing immediately that my hesitation comes from going anywhere with Paxton right now given where things got left between us and very little to do with the amount of notice given.

  “Don’t be like that Char. This is Deck we’re talking about. The guy who waited up on the front porch after prom to make sure your date didn’t try to kiss you because you didn’t like him like that. The guy who walked you into school when you were twelve and threatened those snobby little cheerleaders who were giving you a hard time. The same guy who punched that asshole Travis square in the face after he called you a tease. The guy...”

  “I got it. I got it.” I hold up my hands, gesturing for him to stop.

  “I’m just saying, after everything he’s done for you, you can suck it up and be there for him this one time.”

  “Of course I will.” I concede, knowing Gavin is one hundred percent right. “What are you guys gonna do about the bar?” I tack on.

  “Val’s gonna handle it.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal.

  “Just like that?” I question.

  “Just like that.” He confirms. “Val knows the business inside out and it’s only four days. Besides, what’s the perk of owning your own business if you can’t take a last minute vaca every now and again.” He chuckles.

  “So what do I need to do then?”

  “You need to be packed and ready to leave by nine in the morning. Paxton and I will swing by and pick you up.”

  “What about Harlee?” I object, knowing he only has room for three people in his truck.

  “She’s catching a ride with Angel and meeting us there.” He pushes off the bed. “Don’t make me have to wake your ass up tomorrow
.” He warns. “I promise it won’t be nearly as pleasant.”

  “I’ll be ready by nine.” I bite back. “Now go bother your new girlfriend or something and leave me alone.” I kick at him, shaking my head as his laughter vibrates through the room.

  “With pleasure.” He raises his eyebrows up and down.

  “Gross!” I cry out, winging a pillow in his direction just as he disappears into the hallway.

  Flopping back down onto the bed, the reality of what is coming hits me like a ton of bricks. Not only will I be stuck in Vegas for four days, but I will be stuck there with Paxton...

  Paxton—who the last time I saw kissed me and then left without warning. Paxton—who sent me a confusing text that I still don’t fully understand and has left me hanging for three days without even one word. Paxton—who just being in the same room as makes me all kinds of crazy.

  Fuck me. This should be interesting.

  Chapter Four

  Charlie

  It’s bad enough that things are the way they are between me and Paxton. It’s so much worse that I am forced to sit side by side with him in the confines of Gavin’s truck and pretend like everything is all hunky dory.

  This is for Decklan, I remind myself, letting out a slow breath as I stare out of the windshield toward the airport which I can now see in the distance. Well, at least it’s almost over. Just a few more minutes and I will be out of this situation and can spend the entire weekend making myself as scarce as possible.

  I feel squeamish sitting so close to Paxton. I keep catching sight of his incredible profile out of the corner of my eye and every time I do, I swear an involuntary shiver runs through me.

  This man is more than just attractive, he’s practically a fucking god. Tall, broad shoulders, incredible bright green eyes, dark- perfectly styled- short hair, and just enough sexy facial hair to bring it all home. And don’t get me started on his body. Dear god. Three years ago he was the perfect specimen of a man. By the looks of him time has only intensified that fact.

  When Gavin finally parks the truck and kills the engine, I am all but pushing him out the door so I can climb out too. Snagging my suitcase, having successfully been able to cram everything I need for the weekend into one bag, I quickly pull it out of the bed of the truck and take off towards the entrance of the airport.