Where the Night Ends Read online

  “Holy shit, Tess. Holy shit. Holy shit. You and Sebastian. Oh my god, I think I’m going to die,” my best friend rambles. “You owe me so big for making you go to that party. I about died when he kissed you at lunch. God, he’s so fucking hot. I bet he’s an amazing kisser. Tell me everything that happened. Wait, is he still there?”

  I laugh, knowing there’s no sense in answering any questions other than the last one she asked.

  “No, he just dropped me off. Monday, remember?”

  “That’s right. Mom day,” she says, knowing my schedule probably better than anyone. “So how was the ride home? Did you guys talk more? What’s going on? Is it like official yet?”

  “Are you going to continue to ask me five hundred questions in a row, or are you going to give me a chance to answer?” I chuckle, collapsing down on my bed, and staring up at the ceiling.

  “Sorry. I’m just freaking out for you. I mean, Sebastian Baxter, Tess. He’s only the hottest guy in school. Well, besides Ant of course,” she quickly tacks on. “So… Tell me. I’m dying over here.”

  “There’s nothing really to tell,” I admit, having already filled her in on the events of this past weekend.

  I think she, like me, was curious if things would continue with school starting back up, or if everything would kind of go back to normal. Again, we’re not unpopular by any stretch, but Sebastian is on a completely different level, and even though Courtney was convinced he liked me, she didn’t know how school would change the dynamics between us; nor did I.

  “Bullshit. Sebastian Baxter doesn’t just kiss anyone in the middle of the cafeteria. Now spill.”

  “I’m serious, Court. We’re just—I don’t know—going with the flow. He hasn’t said anything about actually dating, and I’m not going to bring it up. I mean, I like him—a lot, but it’s only been four days.”

  “And, I knew I wanted to date Ant after an hour.” She laughs.

  “Do I want to date Sebastian?” I say as a question. “I mean, I think I’d have to be dead not to want that. He’s very charming and well…”

  “So hot,” Courtney adds.

  “Yes, and that.” I chuckle. “But there’s more to him than that. I don’t know, I feel like I haven’t even scratched the surface with him yet and already I’m finding it hard to keep my thoughts straight when I’m with him. He makes me feel—god, I don’t even know,” I say, trying to find the right words. “But I don’t want to move too fast either. The last thing I want is another repeat of the Dylan fiasco.”

  “Sebastian is not Dylan. Don’t let that douche bag ruin every other guy for you just because he couldn’t keep it in his pants.”

  “I know, Court. I’m just worried that there will be certain expectations with Sebastian. What if I’m not ready?”

  “Maybe you’re not yet. But trust me, eventually, you will be. And when that time comes you’ll be glad if it’s with someone like Sebastian. At least he knows what he’s doing. Nothing worse than losing your virginity to another virgin, trust me I know. It’s like two people who’ve never played chess before trying to play a match in the dark.”

  I laugh at her analogy. Only Courtney would describe her first sexual experience as playing chess. She doesn’t even know what the chess pieces are called. If I had to guess she probably has never even seen the game played. Then again, maybe that’s why she’s used that as her comparison.

  “Yeah, but that also means I’m subject to being compared to every other girl he’s been with before.” I sigh, shaking off the thought. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter anyway. It’s not like I’m just going to hop in bed with him after four days of hanging out,” I say, ignoring the voice in my head that tells me that’s exactly what I want to do.

  “Well, you better snatch his ass up before long. Ant and I have a bet going that you’re going to be the first girl Sebastian has officially dated since he moved here from California, and I’ve got fifty bucks and a blowjob on the line.”

  “What?” I snort in disbelief.

  “If you and Sebastian become official, Ant owes me...Well, you don’t want to know what.” She giggles. “But if you don’t then I owe Ant fifty dollars and a blowjob. Not that I mind that second part.”

  “Gross.” I shake my head, not wanting to envision that picture at all. “And why would you bet on something like whether or not we’ll start dating?”

  “It’s Ant’s fault. He says there’s no way you’ll break Sebastian’s no relationship rule, and I disagree.”

  “Wait—his what?”

  “His no relationship rule. Tell me you knew about that. You’d have to be living under a rock not to know that Sebastian has a strict no dating rule.”

  “Well then, apparently I’ve been living under a boulder because I had no idea. I mean, obviously, I’ve never seen him officially date anyone, but I had no idea it was some weird rule of his,” I say, feeling a bit of my happiness deflate. “And if that’s the case, you shouldn’t have bet in my favor because I seriously doubt a guy like Sebastian is going to change his rules for a girl like me.”

  “I think you’d be surprised,” Courtney sings confidently. “Trust me, I can read people a hell of a lot better than Anthony. He may know Sebastian, but I know boys and I’m telling you—the way he looks at you—he’s definitely interested in more than just a hookup. When he smiles at you, dear god, even I melt a little. I’m telling you, girl, as long as you don’t do anything to screw it up, that boy is going to be yours.”

  “Do I want him to be mine?” I ask like I’m asking her permission.

  “Um... duh,” she says dramatically followed by a long pause. “Hey, I gotta go, Ant is beeping in. Talk soon. Love you.”

  “Love you, too.” I barely get the words out before the line goes dead.

  Tossing the phone down on the bed next to me, I let out a deep exhale and let Courtney’s words sink in.

  Sebastian has a no dating rule?

  He looks at me a certain way? Why have I not noticed? Then again, maybe I have. I mean, I feel it don’t I—the connection between us, the chemistry. But what if this is all just a game to him? What if this really is just some elaborate scheme to get me into bed? It’s not like things like that don’t happen on the daily. And while yes, he could have any girl he wants, what’s the fun in that? Don’t boys like him get off on the chase, conquering the unconquerable? After all, isn’t that kind of what Dylan was doing?

  I shake the thought away. Courtney’s right, I can’t let what Dylan did effect the way I see Sebastian. I’ll never know unless I try, right? And god knows I want to, more than anything I’ve ever wanted before.

  And while yes, this no relationship rule is a bit of a shock, it’s also something that could very easily change. Who knows, maybe I’ll be the first girl to ever get to call Sebastian Baxter her boyfriend.

  Now isn’t that a thought…

  “Tess.” I hear Dylan’s voice before I see him, the little hairs on the back of my neck standing up the moment I register it’s him.

  Of course, he would choose today—the mother of bad days—to come add the big ole cherry on top of my mounting Sundae. Friday’s are usually my favorite day of the week, but Friday has not been my friend today. Quite the opposite actually.

  It started this morning with a group of girls who were clearly talking about me in Math class. They made a point to make sure I could hear what they were saying about how Sebastian was just with me to fuck me, and how stupid I was to think the show he was putting on was actually real. One even went as far to say that he had called her the previous night, and they had a good laugh at my expense.

  I tried to brush it under the rug—girls being girls—but I’d be lying if I said the seed of doubt hadn’t been planted and continued to sprout throughout the remainder of the day.

  Sarah Jordan cornered me in the locker room after fifth-period gym and asked me if I had any idea how stupid I looked walking around on Sebastian’s arm like what we had going on was actuall
y real. And then she had the audacity to laugh right in my face like I was the punch line of an extremely funny joke.

  Now granted, Sarah and her group of teenage bullies aren’t in the majority, but it still feels like the entire school is against me suddenly.

  I take a deep breath and calmly close my locker before finally turning toward Dylan, not surprised to find him leaning against the locker next to mine, arms crossed like he always used to do when he was waiting for me to get my things so he could walk with me to class.

  The vision causes an odd sensation to run through me. A sense of déjà vu, if you will, and it takes me a second to snap back to present day.

  “What do you want, Dylan?” I ask, swinging my bag over my shoulder.

  “I was hoping we could talk for a minute,” he says, voice soft.

  “About?” I don’t buy into his nice act, tapping my foot against the floor like I couldn’t be more impatient.

  “I wanted to apologize for the other day.” His words calm my annoyance a bit, but there’s still this nagging feeling—like an involuntary tick, like I know something is coming.

  “O-k-a-y,” I draw out, giving him a chance to continue.

  “It was wrong of me to come at you about Sebastian the way I did. You didn’t do anything wrong, and this isn’t your fault.”

  “I’m sorry, what’s not my fault?” I cock my head to the side, my eyebrows pulling together in confusion.

  “Sebastian gets off on landing girls like you. I can’t fault you for falling for his act. You wouldn’t be the first. I just hope you know you don’t have to sleep with someone like Sebastian to get even with me. You’ve made your point.”

  “Wait, I’m confused.” I hold a hand up between us.

  “I know. My actions have been all over the place these last few months, but I get it now. I made a huge mistake the day I let you go,” he quickly continues.

  “Wait, what?” My mind can’t seem to catch up to what he’s actually getting to.

  “I want you back, Tess. I want us back,” he says, reaching out to trail his fingers lightly down my forearm. The contact causes my whole body to tense. “I fucked up and I’m really sorry, but I’m ready to move on—with you.”

  “With me? Dylan, do you even hear yourself?” I try to control the anger that flares in my voice. “You cheated on me, remember?”

  “I know, and I just apologized for it.”

  “You think an apology is just going to fix it? You humiliated me, Dylan. Not only did you cheat on me, you made sure everyone in school knew why you were doing it.”

  “I made a mistake.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal.

  “You made a mistake,” I repeat his words, disbelief evident in my tone.

  “Yeah, I did. I’m entitled to make a mistake, Tess. Not everyone is as perfect as you are,” he grinds out.

  “I'm far from perfect. The difference between you and me is that I actually care who my actions hurt, and I would never intentionally hurt or embarrass someone the way you did me. It’s called common courtesy. Perhaps you should try it sometime.” I turn, completely over this conversation.

  “Where are you going?” Dylan grabs my arm and spins me back toward him. “I’m not done.”

  “Well, I am.” I jerk my arm out of his grasp.

  “I’m trying to fucking apologize here, Tess.” His voice echoes around us and I know, like the other day, we’ve gathered a small audience of students who haven’t yet left for the day.

  “Well, I don’t want your apology,” I say through clenched teeth.

  “So what then, you’re just going to walk away from everything we had for him.” He points down the hall at nothing in particular.

  “I’m walking away for me. Because I deserve better than you, Dylan.” I don’t miss the way his eyes widen like I’ve just slapped him right across the face.

  I wish I was that kind of person because slapping him is exactly what I want to do right now. Why can’t he just leave me alone?

  “Just wait—I give it two weeks and you’ll be crawling back,” he warns. “You think things are going to end differently with a guy like him. Good fucking luck. When he fucks you and then dumps you, don’t come crying to me. This is the only chance I’m going to give you.”

  “Thanks, but no thanks.” I give him the biggest ‘fuck you’ smile I can muster before spinning on my heel and storming off down the hallway.

  By the time I reach the parking lot, my hands are shaking and the adrenaline of what just happened seems to catch up to me. I’m so mad I swear fumes are going to start shooting straight out of my ears.

  The nerve of him—does he really know so little about me that he thought he could intimidate me into getting back together with him?

  I want to scream so bad that it feels like my chest is going to explode.

  “Tess.” I vaguely hear my name, but I’m too far gone to care. “Tess.” I hear again but I keep walking, my face straight ahead just needing to get the hell away from everything and everyone before I lose it.

  Don’t do it, Tess.

  Don’t you dare cry.

  Even as I think it the tears are already forming and spilling down my cheeks within seconds. I veer left, leaving the school parking lot on foot with every intention of walking home, but then I hear his voice again—Sebastian—seconds before his hand closes down on my shoulder and eases me to a stop.

  “Tess.” He hesitantly steps around me, tipping my face upward when I refuse to look at him. “Tess. What the hell is going on?” he questions, his voice full of concern.

  “I just need you to leave me alone, Sebastian.” I refuse to meet his gaze.

  “What happened?” he repeats, this time his voice taking on a hard edge.

  “You happened,” I snap, directing my anger at the completely wrong person. “You, and your bullshit happened. It’s been a week and already I’ve been talked about, laughed at, and ridiculed more than I ever have in my entire life.” I throw my hands up, spinning in the opposite direction.

  Sebastian is back in front of me within seconds, his forehead drawn together in concern.

  “What you mean? You haven’t said anything.” He once again tips my chin up when I try not to look at him.

  If I’m being honest, it’s because I’m ashamed. He’s the last person who deserves my anger and yet here I am, placing all the blame on him when in reality he’s one of the best things in my life right now.

  “Because I don’t like playing these stupid games.” I swipe angrily at my tears. “Are you aware that I’ve been told at least ten times since Monday that you’re only hanging out with me because I’m a challenge? That once you sleep with me you’ll never speak to me again.”

  “Who’s saying that?”

  “Everyone’s saying it.” I cross my arms defensively in front of myself.

  “Have I given you any reason to believe that’s what my intentions are?” he asks, his voice so soft it makes it hard to not break into another fit of tears.

  “No, then again, you really haven’t said anything to me at all,” I argue for no reason other than just to argue.

  “Have my actions said to you that’s what I’m after—to get you into my bed?” He reaches out, tucking my hair behind my ear. “Because if that’s the case, tell me now. I never want you to feel like I expect something from you, Tess. I don’t. I just like being around you. People talk, who gives a shit. At the end of the day, it doesn’t change anything between us.” His hand lingers on my jaw. “You can’t control everything and everyone around you. You have to learn to let go a little.”

  “That’s easy for you to say.” I push past the rush of heat his touch causes. “Not everything is so easy, Sebastian. Maybe it is for you, but it’s not for me. You’ve probably never had to work for anything a day in your life. Some of us don’t have the luxury of just going with the flow.”

  “What are you saying, Tess?” he questions. “That you don’t want to hang out with me because it’s
too hard?”

  “Look, this was fun, but I need to refocus. I can’t afford this distraction. I can’t be listening to people snicker behind me because they don’t think I’m good enough for you when I should be paying attention to the teacher. I can’t afford to be late for class because I’m hiding in the bathroom stall waiting for the girls who are talking about me to leave. And I can’t continue to have my ex-boyfriend causing scenes in the middle of the hallway because he’s now convinced himself we should get back together. I just—it’s too much, Sebastian.”

  “Wait, causing scenes how?” He ignores everything else I said and hones in on the Dylan thing.

  “It’s—it’s nothing.” I sigh. “Just forget about it.”

  “It’s not nothing. If Dylan is giving you shit, I need to know about it.”

  “Why? What are you going to do?” I question, throwing my hands up in defeat.

  “I’m going to teach him what happens when he messes with something that’s mine.” The possessiveness in his voice has my body reacting in ways I never expected.

  “Yours?” I manage to push the word out. “You hardly know me.”

  “I know enough to know I don’t want anyone else to have you.”

  “What are you saying, Sebastian?” The clear shake in my voice gives away how much his words affect me.

  “I’m in, Tess.” He takes my face in his hands. “Look at me, I’m in. What more do I have to do to show you that I like you—I mean, I really fucking like you, Tess. You’re not like any other girl in this school. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since you walked out onto that balcony. You want to shut them all up, be my girlfriend.”

  “Sebastian,” I start, but he cuts me off.

  “I’m not asking for them, I’m asking for me. Showing them all they’re wrong is just an added bonus.” A small smile spreads across his mouth. “What do you say, Tess? Will you be my girlfriend?”

  Everything about the moment is so sickeningly sweet that it almost doesn’t feel real. The way his gaze is locked on mine, his hands holding my face, his words dancing around me. I wish I could say I stand even a chance against him, but it should be pretty obvious by this point that I don’t.